


get my kicks like you

by YesIsAWorld



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Circle Jerk, Coming Out, Masturbation, OT5, Sexual Confusion, Sexuality Crisis, Wankfest 2019, group masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-02-23 18:31:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18707587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YesIsAWorld/pseuds/YesIsAWorld
Summary: “Wait,” Liam had said. “You all jerked it at Niall’s?”Zayn had looked back with furrowed brows over his sunglasses. “Yeah?” he confirmed, with a easy shrug. LikeLiamwas the weird one for asking.





	get my kicks like you

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [Lauren](http://kingsofeverything.tumblr.com/) for putting this fest together and to [disgruntledkittenface](http://disgruntledkittenface.tumblr.com/) for being an excellent beta. <3 Love you both!
> 
> What a fun way to celebrate National Masturbation Month!

Liam’s heard rumors about this.

Once, when he had called Louis for help with his history essay, and Louis had changed the subject after scoffing at Liam for starting his so early, and instead told Liam about hanging out at Niall’s that afternoon, while Liam was at track practice, and how he, Niall, and Harry ended up watching a porn together and jerking off. 

Liam had assumed it was another one of Louis’ stupid jokes that he didn’t understand.

Then, the summer after graduation, Liam had come back from vacation and was catching up with Zayn. They had been at the country club, on the grassy knoll overlooking the pool, watching Soph and El and Dani bob around lazily. Harry and Mitch had been working the concession stand. Louis had been guarding the baby pool, swinging the whistle in a tight spiral around his fingers, loosening it the other direction, then swinging it tight again as he paced the fenced in area. Niall was probably close to finishing his caddying gig from the morning, and would be joining them as soon as he could swap his golf clothes for swimming trunks. Liam knew he'd miss this, their last summer before they spread out across multiple states for college. He was pretty sure they had all said the same platitudes about them all remaining friends, even long distance, but Liam had his doubts. Their clique was close, closer than most, maybe, but they still lived in the real world. 

Liam had been half listening to Zayn’s slow, quiet retelling of the previous night’s antics. The minigolf competition—Harry and Niall both vying for most professional golfer and Louis’ competitiveness leading to scowls and swears as he failed to make par—the getting of ice cream, then how they all went back to Niall’s and got off together.

Liam had turned his head and tried to read Zayn’s expression. The others were constantly goofing on how gullible Liam was, but rarely Zayn. And when Zayn _did_ , it was always with a soft look, gentler than the others, that was easy to spot. But Zayn was already on to the next part of his night, getting water ice with Gigi. 

“Wait,” Liam had said. “You all jerked it at Niall’s?”

Zayn had looked back with furrowed brows over his sunglasses. “Yeah?” he confirmed, with a easy shrug. Like _Liam_ was the weird one for asking. 

“Oh.” He had about a million questions, but didn’t know where to start and besides maybe it was weird to ask about it. So he shut his mouth and waited for Niall and started thinking about what he wanted for lunch. 

And when he got to college, he had learned that the guys in his frat house did it too. “No homo,” they’d say, after telling Liam about the porn they watched together.

Liam thought it sounded at least a little homo, whipping dicks out with other dicks and watching porn with other dudes and coming while other guys were in the room. But maybe if there was a girl in the porn, that made the whole thing not gay.

Liam was confused about the whole gay thing anyway. 

Before he left for college, there was that night that he was watching Louis work, admiring the way he looked in his red trunks and his unzipped hoodie that he wore without a shirt, whistle around his neck, hanging midway down his bare chest. Zayn had given Liam an odd look, and Liam tried to hide his blush, embarrassed that he had been caught admiring Louis. And he spent the rest of the summer idly wondering if Zayn knew something about Liam that he didn’t dare think about too hard. It had been the “I hope you can be who you are” comment that Zayn had whispered in his ear as they clutched each other their last night that summer that cemented in Liam’s mind that Zayn definitely thought Liam was hiding something.

And joining the frat just confused things further. The easy affection, the games leading to swatting at each other’s junk, more nudity than he ever thought possible, and the masturbation. So much talk of masturbation. Jokes about masturbation. Brothers masturbating together, apparently, every day, walking in on each other watching porn and joining in. But they were all straight and all hooked up with girls at their parties, and none of it really made sense to Liam.

He was probably overthinking it. But he wondered if the brothers could sense something in him too, that same thing Zayn sensed, and if that was the reason he wasn’t invited to join in their jerking games. If whatever that thing was, it hovered to close to _homo_ and would cross some line. 

He didn’t know how to voice any of this, couldn’t parse any of it out in his own brain, let alone figure out how to vocalize what he was trying to figure out, and he definitely didn’t know who he’d talk to about it, even if he could. Zayn would be the obvious answer, but it felt silly asking Zayn to tell him if he’s gay or not.

His group of high school friends all remained close through that first year of college. They had gotten together over Thanksgiving break and then again over their long Christmas holiday. Liam learned about everyone’s new friends and he told them about his new friends. Everyone was the same, but different at the same time. Time marched on and he wasn’t any closer to figuring out the mess of want and friendship and brotherhood and attraction that all swirled around his head. So he danced with girls at parties and got off with the ones who wanted to take it further, and each time his head was a swirling mix of thoughts like _I like this_ and _would it be different if…_ and _if I like this then surely…_ and then he stuffed it all away again as he focused on his studies and learning how to play the guitar and ignored thinking about what any of it meant. 

So yeah, he had heard that guys got off together, but had never seen it in person. Until he was home for the summer. As everyone’s finals ended, his friends trekked back home, and within a week it was almost like normal. They all got jobs at the club again and they all hung out every night and Zayn hadn’t mentioned whatever it was he thought about Liam again and Liam relaxed back into a routine.

Until he was at Niall’s house, after a day out in the sun. He and Harry and Niall all caddied that morning, then hung out at the pool all afternoon, then met up with Zayn and Louis at Niall’s for pizza and a movie. They set the pizza boxes on the bar counter and pulled slices from the boxes, eating without plates or chairs. 

“Your dad out?” Harry asked. 

“Yeah,” Niall said, his mouth full, “he went up to see Greg today. He’ll probably stay there overnight.”

“Cool.” Harry took another slice. “You still have the video?”

“Yeah. Can go get it after we finish.”

“Sweet,” Louis said. 

Liam tried to play it cool, like this wasn’t his first time doing this, and like he wasn’t freaking out the tiniest bit. He didn’t understand, but he was already half hard with anticipation.

“Um,” Zayn cleared this throat. “I want to, uh, before we do that, tell you something.”

They all kept eating as they looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

“Just, uh, I’m gay. So, if you don’t want me—”

“Okay,” Louis said quickly. “It doesn’t bother us.” He gave a fierce glare at the others around the bar as Liam was still reeling with the information. Liam was pretty sure Louis would’ve tackled anyone who disagreed. Liam wondered if Zayn knew about himself when he caught Liam eying Louis. “My roommate’s gay. And we… it’s fine. We still do this all the time," Louis continued.

Liam had about a million more questions, specifically if masturbating with a gay guy was more gay than masturbating with a straight guy, but he could ask Zayn, or Louis, later. Zayn caught Liam’s eye and Liam heard himself say, “Yeah, doesn’t bother us.” 

Niall and Harry took it just as easy as well, offering up twin “Cool”s. 

Their conversation moved on to catching each other up on their families as they finished the pizza. Louis offered to break down the boxes as Harry cleared the plates and Niall went off to find The Video.

Liam followed after Zayn, Louis, and Harry as they filed into the living room. Louis plopped himself down on one of the chairs facing the TV and pressed his fist against his junk.

Harry stood next to the other chair, pulling his phone out of his back pocket before sitting down. 

Zayn took one end of the couch, so Liam took the other, aware of the center seat. He wondered if Niall would take it, the three of them jerking off so close together, or if he’d find somewhere else to sit. If Liam made up an excuse and left, then Niall could have his seat and Liam could escape with his dignity intact. He stayed, hands on this thighs, waiting for Niall to come back. 

Once Niall returned, pulling out remotes and slipping the DVD into the player, then sitting between Liam and Zayn on the couch, lube in his hand, there was a rustling of buttons and zippers as the rest of them undid their flies as the opening credits flashed on the screen. Liam followed their lead, unbuttoning his jeans with minimal shaking of his hands, and pulling his zipper down. He was still half hard, interested in what was going on, and nervous too. He felt like at any minute they were going to suggest that he leave, and he desperately wanted to stay and watch—and participate. He needed to get over his nervousness, and with the sound of Harry spitting into his hand then the slick sound of getting himself wet, his nerves fell away and was replaced by the itchy need to come. It felt wildly taboo; Harry, one of his best friends, sitting just out of arm’s reach, with his dick out. With everyone exposed, Liam felt less vulnerable, and he let the thrum of arousal wash over him. He reached into the slit of his boxers and pulled himself out.

He tried to watch the TV, obviously that’s what he was meant to do, but the setup was corny and he was too interested in what else was happening in the room. The other four all had their eyes focused on the TV, and things were just getting started, gentle tugs and gropes, loose fists, getting themselves worked up.

Liam did the same, gently stroking himself, getting himself hard. It was weird, but exciting too, like he was getting away with something, having his prick out in the company of others. His dick twitched as he got harder, and he reached down to fondle his balls. 

Next to him, Niall let out a breathy moan, and Liam tried to look without _looking._ Niall’s hand stopped, and Liam quickly looked away, back to his own hand, his own dick. But when Niall clicked open the lube, Liam’s attention was drawn back. Niall’s cock was sticking up through the hole in his boxers too. There was no reason for the sight to make Liam’s breath catch in his throat, he had seen Niall’s dick before, had seen all the dicks in this room before, but only when they were changing, or running naked full speed toward a body of water before skinny dipping. He hadn’t seen it hard, hadn’t seen the gleam of precome at the tip, hadn’t seen Niall’s lube-slick hand coating it. 

“Li,” Niall said. 

Liam snapped his head up to Niall’s face, ready to be scolded, only to find him passing his bottle of lube. 

“Thanks,” Liam said, his voice gruff.

Liam poured a generous amount on his hand and snapped the lid closed. From the corner of his eye, he could see Harry reaching out, so he tossed him the bottle next. 

“Thanks,” Harry said once he caught it. Liam got his hand on himself again, this time the slide was easier. “You’re big,” Harry continued. 

Liam looked down at Harry’s cock, now that permission seemed to be granted. “So are you.”

“But not like _that_.”

Louis tipped forward in his chair and stretched to get a look. “Congrats, Payno.”

“Thanks,” Liam said dryly, relaxing into their usual banter, “grew it myself.”

Harry bit his lower lip, caught Liam’s eye, then looked back toward the TV. Liam let his gaze stick on Harry for a moment, watching as he tucked one hand up his shirt and started playing with his nipple, while his other hand twisted around his dick. Liam gave himself a squeeze as Harry tilted his head up and his jaw opened. 

“Zayn,” Louis said.

Liam looked over at Louis, who was holding out the lube. 

“Nah, I’m good,” Zayn said. 

Louis dropped the lube into his lap and then clenched his thigh. Liam found himself matching Louis’ rhythmic _ch-ch-ch_ as he fisted himself. Niall let out another breathy moan, and then Zayn whined “fuck.” Louis squirmed as he got himself off, unable to stay still even doing that. 

Everything about the situation, the looks on their faces and the crowns of their cocks popping out of the top of their fists, the noises—the low heat started in Liam’s body as his breath quickened—everything about this was the hottest thing Liam had ever been a part of. Sinking into the heat of a girl he barely knows couldn’t hold a candle to this. He loosened his fist, trying to slow down his race to the finish line. 

“Oh shit,” Harry said, his fist flying over himself. “Fuck, I’m so close.”

Zayn snorted out a laugh. “You always come this quick?”

“Don’t make fun,” Louis said. “We’ve all seen your O face.”

Liam had not actually seen Zayn come before, but he was about to see Harry come, if the way he was sucking in deep breaths and yanking at his nipples was any indication. 

It seemed like Louis was right behind him, digging his fingers into the meat of his thigh and exhaling through his teeth. They were panting off beat, and Liam took a moment to glance at the TV, where two dudes and a woman, were sandwiched together. One guy was fucking into the other and a wave of arousal hit Liam as he realized he wanted that, steady hands on his hips and a heavy weight behind him, stubble scratching his back. 

Harry’s grunt brought Liam’s attention back to the room, the wet sounds of jerking off in stereo on either side of him, and with another grunt, Harry was curling in on himself, and catching the mess in his hand. Liam’s cock jerked at the sight, and he gripped it again, working himself faster as Louis whined, high-pitched and throaty, and his legs tensed out and his face crinkled in ecstasy.

“Shit,” Liam said, as his orgasm edged closer. He and Niall bumped elbows and Liam scooted away. Harry and Louis were still catching their breaths, Harry’s eyes on the couch and Louis’ up at the ceiling. 

Liam snuck his free hand down his pants, groping his balls through his boxers. 

Zayn made a low-pitched whine and Liam turned his head with everyone else. Niall blocked his view, but Liam still saw the way Zayn threw his head back, heard his cut-off cry then his heavy panting after. 

No one had ever watched Liam masturbate before, not even one-on-one, and he could feel the heat of their eyes on him. Liam didn’t care if it was bad form, if he was getting one chance at this, he was going to show off what he could. He pulled his shirt up, displaying his abs, and twisted his hand around the head of his cock. His hips bucked up into his fist, and he concentrated his right hand on the top near his crown, adding his left hand to the bottom half of his cock. As he got closer, he gripped himself tighter, bringing himself closer and closer to his orgasm. The tight coiling inside was rising to a fever pitch and his nostrils flared as he whined his way toward pleasure. His balls tightened and he closed his eyes tightly, as the pressure in him built. He was so, so close, he just needed a little more, a tighter fist and then his body was seizing and with a burst of pleasure he was coming onto his six-pack. 

Niall was loud beside him, pulling himself off almost violently in how fast his fast was moving. He let out a series of grunts as he got closer, then he was coming too, catching it in his hand too. He slumped against the back of the couch. 

“H,” Niall said, after he caught his breath. “You’re up.”

Harry groaned, but did as he was told, holding his pants up with one hand, still cupping his come in the other, and waddled into the bathroom. Water was running so Liam hoped he was washing his hands, and he came back out with his pants done up and a box of tissues in hand. Harry took a few out of the box, handed them to Louis, then Zayn, then Niall, all of whom apparently caught their spunk. Then, with a smirk and eyeing the mess on Liam’s stomach, shoved the box at Liam. 

They all wiped themselves clean, and then did up their flies and went one by one into the bathroom to throw away the evidence and wash their hands. 

By the time Liam was done, the DVD was no longer playing and there was an unopened beer on the bar for him, where the others were all standing around. 

“That wasn’t the same video,” Harry said. “I was looking forward to the part with—”

“I know. We all know your favorite part. But, I thought in honor of Zayn’s announcement, I’d choose something a little more, inclusive.”

“Cheers.” Zayn lifted his beer can in Niall’s direction.

“Good thinking,” Louis agreed. “That one was pretty good.”

Liam was sure no one watched very much of the porn, but he could pretend as well as the next guy.

The fact that Niall had gay porn (bi-porn? gay-adjacent porn?) appeared to go unnoticed by the rest of the guys. Maybe Niall was maybe-gay too? Liam doubted he was ever going to get too much clarity on labels. It all felt helpless.

Later that night, while lying in bed getting himself off again, Liam quietly admitted that he was probably more than a little gay. He still didn’t understand how anyone else could have that experience and walk away saying ‘no homo’ but perhaps they were protesting too much, or perhaps Liam was just really _really_ gay. Because after that afternoon, Liam was sure of exactly one thing: he’d be jerking off to the memories of this experience for a long long time. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please do not post this fic or any of my other fics on any other websites. I'm not currently allowing translations either. Thank you for respecting my wishes.
> 
> [Here's a shareable tumblr link if you enjoyed it. xx](https://louandhazaf.tumblr.com/post/185208412623/get-my-kicks-like-you-ot5-circle-jerk-3k)  
> [Here's a twitter link if you enjoyed it, and want to retweet!](https://twitter.com/Lou_and_Haz_AF/status/1163822829571366912?s=20)


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